Departure from India

Steph: It was with a strange and unexpected sense of relief that we disembarked in Bangkok after a short but tiring flight. We had spent an amazing six weeks in India and though we feel we haven’t touched half of what we wanted to see and do there, we felt we had spent enough time for now. In truth, we were tired…

Our friend Miriam told us before we left on our adventure that India is a place that we would either love or hate, sometimes experiencing both emotions at the same time. We didn’t understand quite what she meant until we had spent a few weeks there.

India overwhelmed us with its size and the sheer number of desirable places to visit. We really were so greedy and wanted to see so much: there is so much history and beauty that it was difficult for us to decide on an itinerary. We ate some of the best food on our trip so far, rarely eating the same thing twice and just loving the variety! We also and stayed in some spectacular towns which felt nothing less than magical often. The accommodation was fantastic value and the owners of the guesthouses were, once we'd decided to stay with them, very friendly and welcoming.

The spirituality of Indian people is really something special: we were lucky enough to be in India during some important Hindu festivals including Durga Puja and Divali. The parades and costumes were spectacular and we witnessed whole communities celebrating festivals that go back thousands of years without any need for commercialism. We were touched by a number of rituals we saw, not least in Udaipur where the towns-women would be scrubbing and hitting the clothing against the banks of the lake while smaller communities came down from the lakeside temples to sing, bang drums and bathe in the lake. After visiting a Muslim shrine outside a mosque one evening during Ramadan, I was overwhelmed by how welcoming the people were. Whole families were there to pray and were happy to welcome us, helping us to enjoy the atmosphere and allowing us to watch the prayers.

While the country’s colour and vibrancy, intriguing history, beautiful temples, fascinating peoples and delicious cuisine are all factors that drew us to love the country, there were a number of factors that drew us to frustration and fatigue and inevitably this weird sense of relief upon our arrival in Thailand. We had found ourselves putting up a constant barrier to the people we came in direct contact with, always on our guard to being ripped off and feeling that we were being seen by the locals with dollars in their eyes. In Rajasthan especially there was a sense of desperation, of course driven in the first instance by poverty and India's other problems but also, we couldn’t help feeling, a huge amount of greed and corruption on the part of so many people who work directly with tourists.

Unlike in China where people were more willing to help us than I ever could have imagined, there was a price for everything in India. We had to understand that it was the poverty and desire to earn an easy buck which drove the people to torment the tourists in their hundreds. You couldn’t even ask for directions without being charged a couple of rupees! Even, for example, when wandering round a temple on your own, you can expect to be hounded by a local who will spout a few facts about the history and significance of the place before declaring, ‘50 rupees please!’ and pestering you for a good while. Aaaaagh! We never asked for these facts!

There are a huge number of problems in this country and from what we have seen, a good deal of short term solutions but not many long term, realistic plans. I noticed this in the first instance at something as big as the National Convention for improving Women's resources, yet throughout our trip this short term mentality came through. It frustrated Chris most in Goa where every year, families must tear down the beach huts that they build for the tourist season, rather than saving money and building some that last for five or ten years. This is not their choice, however. The local government demand taxes every year on newly built beach huts so it works in their favour if they are rebuilt every year. In addition, the annual monsoon makes it more difficult to build solid, lasting structures. They manage it with their own houses though so it's obviously possible.

Another thing that highly frustrated me was the ‘in-your-face’ inequality between the sexes. I honestly don’t comprehend how a country - no, the world’s largest democracy - which stops HALF of its most intelligent people, half of its most creative people, from having access to the workforce can even hope to improve economically. Success just won’t come to a country which suppresses half of its population, unless there is an abundance of some form of natural resource which is in global demand such as oil as in other countries where there is inequality. Unfortunately India doesn’t’ have oil so economic success may have to come in other ways, perhaps beginning with more equality between the sexes. It just seems absurd to me, but then again, as a female who has had access to every step of the education process and every career opportunity in my country, and who doesn’t share the same religious or cultural beliefs as people in India, I’m never going to understand it.

Despite having spent six weeks in different parts of India, neither of us feel that we have gotten to know Indian people truly: we don’t want our idea of the culture and people to be discolored by the people we met trying to rip us off for every possible rupee. It would, of course, be impossible to truly get to know a people without spending a more significant amount of time in a place (without moving round as we did). However, in comparison to China - where we spent only four weeks - we don’t feel even slightly close to gaining a fair impression of people in India.

Our trip was made not only possible but also so much more comfortable, luxurious and no doubt easier by our friends Bridget and Graham who housed, fed and washed (!!) us for a large amount of our trip. Through them, we were definitely able to meet some Indian friends who gave a far more realistic impression of the country’s kindness, humour and welcoming nature. I was introduced to people who through nothing but their own passion and kindness are working to change things for the better for so many people in India.

One thing's for sure… India, I’m not done with you yet!