How to BBQ like a German

If you’ve ever been on a ‘hike’ with a German, you’ll soon have realized that there is a severe difference between what we non-Germans might class as a hike and the equivalent in their language which is a Wandern. I once made the mistake of accepting an invitation to go on a Wandern with some Germans four years ago. I mistakingly accepted this invitation while clad in a 60s fancy dress outfit at a party on the morning of said Wandern. Presuming that this ‘hike’ had been organized there and then and for fun (!!) I awoke after only two hours sleep to meet the Germans at an ungodly hour, expecting a nice stroll in the Swiss mountains.

No.

Not only did myself and the girls (fellow non-Germans, Jess and Sara) not bring any water or food - this was incredibly stupid and studenty in hindsight - we didn’t have correct ‘equipment’ or footwear. Furthermore we certainly weren’t expecting the six hour trek through the Alps after only two hours sleep and a lot of vino the night before.

What this experience taught me was that a German will always do things properly and - no, not properly but overly so - and FULL ON. And obviously never to go on a Wandern again. (Our trek in Laos would have seemed like a walk in the park to any German, I think!).

So when we met the Germans at Delicate Nobby and they revealed they were going to grill some food that evening on the campfire with some more Germans who were arriving, I expected big things. Nothing however - not even my knowledge of what a Wandern entails - could have prepared me for what went on at Delicate Nobby that evening.

Stage one:

Build a sheep-pen style structure with an opening away from your own tent (if it points at others’ so be it)

Stage two:

With a roll of industrial wire that you handily have in the back of the VolksWagen, create a grill with pliers from your fully-stocked tool-box (Goodness knows where you got that from as a backpacker!)

Stage three:

Suspend homemade, industrial grill from the sheep-pen using the exact measurement of a beer bottle

Stage four:

Collect firewood

Stage five:
Start your roaring flame

Stage six:

Stick the kangaroo skewers on there

Stage seven:

As you are German, continue to make improvements throughout the cooking process. This must be done PROPERLY after all!

Stage eight:

Settle down to your meal!

Stage nine:

After all the excitement has died down (and you have almost burned down the trees above) entertain your guests with the Ukulele

We would like to thank Torben, Mano and German engineering for letting us enjoy this experience!